The Laurie & Lynn Show

Live with Laurie and Lynn
Saturday, April 14th
Saturday April 14, 2018

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Following is a paid program the views or claims made are not necessarily those of WI OK staff management or sponsors. It's time for Laurie in live. Distort your weekend ranks and now Gloria weigh in on double life okay. Good morning. Good morning how are you doing today. What are probably I'd just find you should be having a wonderful time relaxing in the beaches and then sun and warmth. Are you. I AM et all of those mean I have been on the beach but I'm. I am sun in the market. Sometimes a little too warm. It's. I'm like yeah I know I don't like humidity I don't mind the warm it's the humidity in enough already gets very. The very sticky critically. Yesterday here it was absolutely gorgeous. But there's a lot going on we decided to drive. And thank god my cousin is staying at my house or an English only work when you have a how to better. I you have heard it when I had my donkey and pentagon have dog eating marshy it from my house so that's the good thing. And then EU. Drug down we left on Saturday. And that drove right through treat the first time I've ever. And then a confidant my leg of diet and it would be what it was and we throw we've left about 130 on Saturday. And we drove right true. You know we had lunch dinner at the tally is. On Friday night so we brought our leftovers we stuck at a rest stop and eat the leftovers that and then just kept on driving and we we stuck during the night about sport. Thirty and slept. For about three hours at a rest stop because we just wanted to get their and we did that which wasn't. It happened but the most luxurious accommodations but it worked and then throughout the rest of the way we went through Daytona and met. Meyer's brother and we met him and had dinner and spent the night Eric and then came drove into Jupiter. So. We are here and it's great great. I love and you then do a different ride home or the way you're. I can only hope to go to with a banner. And then. The next day. Which happened to be mired birthday we will believe we will try it could be happy. And have dinner with my son Sean. And then leave the next day to drive comes so. We'll break it takes about eighteen hours to get here my hand I can't spell was broken it up what kind of every six finish and I'm coward. You know the Savannah and then from Savannah could be fee and then they merely a little more from Savannah could be seen maybe seven and then five is Scranton and. The girl so don't though it still will be will be good. Less than a month Clancy happy just an invention out you're gonna go Obama. And that's exactly what we're doing and you know what I I said and I think he'll I don't care. If I don't do anything in client I have no meetings and not I just it. Don't know I in honesty I don't know what to do it might sound because. I'm so used to I weeping on the fly that. But I look at you and taking full advantage of not having to do so is the it's very nice to just. Do what you wanna go and chill out so yes it's been good. Good that's good well. What's going on in the communities that you lessen known that anything. Any events are coming up well we. Here we go if they under Scranton cultural center is having is heating up untrue tomorrow coming up on the 29. I'm ain't broke Sunday. And it's a hundred dollars the cake and eat you can still make a reservation about how. I by calling back up the truth which in fact seven out tree Ford or want want want want it. They are having that event is wonderful and it doesn't go for the whole of it I know I've repeated extended but orbited bears repeating. You can an appetite it in the ballroom and then you break up into five groups are named after some type of wine. And then they're leaders for every group and you go true I of the beautiful ground in the cultural center and entrees. I'm on the lower level aren't prepared a lot as well the appearing out. Wine and you go through to five different entree round and then you end up in the ballroom for dessert switched it about five to seven and third. I've restaurant and about the game but then I'm appetizer restaurant in. The ballroom and I'm music and McGrath claimed the piano for the account hello there during appetizers and market. Montella. And hidden I think it actually mostly kids you know different slammed favorite. I'm glad he's a wanna be bad you currency will play a during the third and it's a very very it's. One of the largest fund raiser for the longest standing mark I think by the eighteen year old bow made it more. And none integrate event and tickets are selling well but if you wanna go please feel free to contact contraband get a ticket. A lot of quite I would leave the champagne growth of course. And a best the most fun group but I must banks and cars have a lot of we have a lot of fun and it's great event and what not about that went into content the end of eight innocent handle it probably played a particularly the last Sunday in April and I got point. Whether it just sort of started to break and people just want to get out and scream Nike and it can't it's beautiful beautiful time to be out and it's great event itself. Well why is that back. Most of person that's involved with so. The wine selections is that someone whose own wind kind of soared in the area now. Now they have wine they have there they're vinyl wrapped. Sometimes come with them. State could die each of the entrees which would be erratic and requirement so erratic that I'm that helped it I'm very nice. Posh and the French manner and they are beside me on air shaft. And Derrick wind rap or they're filming yet they could fight between all of them which is the best pairing which would ever. I'm tray they choose to prepare for. Toward the eating pretty get a little sampling it's not a full meal it's a little sampling of some type of an entree along with appearing why. And it's up to each should be. I'm entree. Well trying to decide what what they wanna break yet they don't tell their own people they don't consult with us. Right well that's that's a good thing because then the chef whoever's pairing it. Is on board with that I've been doing events where. Whatever the restaurant was found they had a relationship with. A wine distributor and they're the ones the distributors the one who would pick. What the winds were that they wanted to sell. And and didn't always work too well there's a little bit I know. Now that doesn't work. So it's really well BP and down like I said it's a fun event and I don't. Not because I'm involved and have been punished for how many years but it's a fun. One night he did. Hang out with Ukraine and if you go to the whole beautiful building and you're joy. You know great food was great wine and it's it's a great night Charles is not available. I'm I am we call being. Mary Lou Quinlan who spoke for a cat five yeah they're Welsh I think I told you cash it now I'm. I'm confirmed that I'm she will be coming in and doing her one woman show okay north. Yet they've done it I'm the I'm. It's I have occurred in 98 the November during national hot that month and it will be can benefit concert for the sacred heart. And Mary Lou is coming up and doing her shall we are very very excited. And that didn't the gun box acetylene she's going to guy hasn't yet. I'm pumped and with the beauty updated I have to read the book. But didn't do it did beauty of it from coming up for Mother's Day which is kind of a nice thing we have or just about to that the price. The nice thing about it and I can give you more information later but the night at that she said many mothers daughters grandmothers aunts. People come because it is the story about the lover but got their cash and get her arm mother. And what her mother did it that I racially with the god box and she performed that anyone wanna challenge you know because you've been viewed her anger podcast went. But she did the light heat and high energy. And Erie Erie armed. She's a great storyteller. I'm and the Irish are insane gas. Yeah I think it is yes DNA I think what we're looking weren't really looking toward to will keep promoting bad at the time and time goes on but. Again it's going to be November 8 and end it. It's nice to think about it for a mother they kept track entry anybody because the ticket will be very reasonable very very reasonable. And it might be something you wanted to have a group of gal to come more when your family your tripling your content it would be really neat because. Little that I know I'll admit I'm I'm already in love with that just based and what she get the Friday. And what I know about him from having truck jerked the many kind French. Really looking forward to it no I'm gonna happen on November 8 during national hospice month actor Peter north. Kent County asked very yeah let's really wonderfully happy about that and I hope this time when she's here had a chance to see here. Oh didn't you know I'm well within a week isn't denounce every night thank thank. Well I will make sure. And I don't then there. Yeah yeah. She's quite a performer I really. I really enjoy her she's just a wonderful person so we really warm really warm and adventurous person I just ice so. Admire the fact that when she was. Somewhere. In her. Fifties. She decided to take up ballroom dancing. And she performs all over the place with these spectacular. Costumes and shoes and she's so insulin and I just pray. Speaking about it was so funny because I had told her when I met her cash that we had done a version of a fundraising I'm up. Apiece for the Scranton cultural center. I'm bad blood pressure and ski and Jack Martin and I try to predict which for the cultural center. To its way to fund which. We get it and so did the many cancers coup that I am who participated many who equivalent in Trenton will be Broderick. I am issue we have and if I get in the liquid diamonds how many wonderful people make in Alpert doctor rough stop and Jack cool and how many people. In fact we'll let you want to do we go over everybody who participated. And we get cut so much fun with that I get older and that we did that can refute it may bring a lot of money don't pretend you're the anchor. And she said she did a version of that they get up underage but for someone in Philadelphia that she participated in. But the funny thing was when I can't hurt to get her to say that we were looking out for her performance for the got back. We didn't return very safe and she got a pass it have to be first on because I have the ballroom event and the next. The next I pillow camel priority priority. Now and it is all of these things. Yeah big big day at their. Summer day yet the way around it what we're looking forward to it. That's sounds great. Well I don't know amazing much report about what's going on here she's been pretty much it's quiet since since you left town. Quite a bit I think it is. It's a little Lotta about a feature much wonder where when I'll be back no plays you know who is. Unknown. Yeah I'm a daily say you know. I get it so let it time and even calling my son timing and the daily. Daily basis to ask calling him an it's like hello. I thought I'd you throw him calmly every Cheney both he had with a sarcastic the ads. A. Anyway well there's an island some very dear friends coming to visit this weekend I think I have time I shared with the EU and with most of our listeners about. It was actually a year ago. I guess of being the daughter of this couple. Well it murdered three on them. In Florida in. I think it was Orlando. And I don't remember exactly where it was but in Florida and the first anniversary of her death was last Sunday. So they're coming from her parents are coming to visit us this weekend. And where. Really looking forward to seeing them because. It's it's it's tough you know I know I don't know how anybody can survive something like that bug. Especially knowing that it wasn't a disease or something where you had a chance to say good die or in any closure to it. This was literally a murder and an innocent bystander kind of thing but. In any event I'm happy it will be able to visit with the men will be a fun time and something to remember so. I wanna do that and also do a shout out to my dear friend who will be with us this weekend as well. And then they don't Glover on me. Occasion of her I don't even know what birthday this is she doesn't like to count but. You're gonna have to give her good talking to you I and everything be scanned for. I know it's easier. We are never. And I mean since she's been in her thirties she's never liked acknowledging her birthday. And down a well I think she's changed her mind at this point because. She doesn't. Most she won't she won't know because she want to hear this before we see. Programming cakes and we're going to the settlers in for dinner and they're gonna and do is what they could do something special. So on that no we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back Gillis into the Lari and when show. Your jewelry and Lynn. Quarterback you're listening to Gloria Lin show my name is Lynn Evans I am the managing director. Of women of substance which is a financial planning firm for this special needs of baby boomer women. I'm also the host of a proud podcast called power of the purse it's available on iTunes. Stitcher and Google play. And and Larry cash and the owner Lori Petty Enterprises which is the fundraising ER special benefits. And we're live from Florida so if I I don't know our television we're all live. And Macy and being very nice and then voice that voice belongs to attorney Barbara O'Hara who is with the law firm of Q is Nicholson O'Hara I got it right for the first time ever in regulation that general and how many years have you been practicing I. This is my thirtieth here thirty he's here wow yeah. OK so she knows her business are so we're all it's kind of chime in here and a topic that I. Am fascinated by because I've seen so much offense in my own business and financial planning. And it continues to happen and I find it very interesting Rick we call a gray divorce. And there's a whole lot of other. Titles for this but. This one this topic was something that was written by a man named Joseph Coughlin. Was a contributor to. Forbes. And this one he's he calls a crate divorce and how working in retirement might just save your marriage. So story is that Allison Henry were attending your retirement seminar for those in their sixties and seventies. When the topic of divorce in later life came up. The facilitator revealed that it was most often the wife who asked for divorce after age fifty. The women in the group started nodding in unison. Then laughter erupted when the discussion turned to why older women sour on their marriages. Well infidelity and money were causes for some boredom or he bores me was a major reason women decided to make the exit. As he's a guy who wrote this book Joseph Coughlin argues in his new book till longevity economy. When thinking about the future of older age your retirement the future is female. And many men may find out may find that out the hard way. The men began to understand that the joke was on them. When Henry standing has stepped behind her with Henrik. Standing has stepped behind her Alice lamented that now he was retired he was always around. A constant presence in the house. Quote I married him for life not for lunch and quote she said with a wry smile. Retirement is often envision a satellite states where couples finally gets time together to kids are gone and the work is done now there's time for us. But that uninterrupted time together men have always been the reward that many assumed that they plan for retirement. Since 1990 divorce rates for those over age fifty have doubled. While declining across all other age groups and checked the data indicates that since 1960. Gray divorce and the United States has increased. 700%. Likewise in the United Kingdom divorce after fifty has become so common that older divorce say is have their own name. Silver so operators. It's a fan has seen divorce in thirty plus years of marriage by four times in the last Kabul. Decades garnering the name retired husband syndrome. And Henry sort of quietly while Alice voiced her frustration with their retirement now that he wasn't working Els complain he's always there. Sitting on my couch. I have routine and I get used to my quiet time when he was working now he's always looking at me for something to do. Empty Nester syndrome has been blamed for many breaks in the United States with the obligations taking care of the kids removed. Some couples strain to remember why they had done together in the first place they feel they don't have anything in common anymore. Canadian divorce and it provides. A little more color for why women in particular call it quits after fifty years olds according to statistics. Canada. Data that many reports of the relationship simply. Ran out of steam. The average American can look to about twenty healthy years of life after a sexy and for some people many more years. With more couples are anticipating the high probability of celebrating fifty plus years of marriage. There's a greater risk that one partner will be highly decent life. While the other sets on the couch. Many strategies are recommended to keep an older marriage going retirement improve communications continuing to invest in your significant other. And not taking hammer her for granted upping your game but remaining fit and maintaining your parents among other strategies. Are few ways to be both happy and together. To manage to marital risk in retirement some couples are taken the adage says a good marriage takes work to heart. They're learning that it may be work that contributes to keeping a marriage together through retirement. This act as a part time driver in the Fort Myers, Florida area. Retires from banking job up north years ago he started driving when he senses wife believes that call Fasano long enough game to keep me from taking up space now. Driving a few days a week Cusack the chance to get out of the house. Make a few bucks and meet new people he says the job gave me great stories about the people I need to tell us home. Thank you Barbara lynch and the University of Nebraska. Hanks says it was struck him most in his first few months of retirement was a lack of structure. At first it was nice not to have to be somewhere first thing in the morning but after a while I got bored there's only so much you can do or on the house. Barbara had always actively volunteer with their church and a few of the areas on profits after years so of retirement. The couple decided to go all in together they chose a few volunteer organizations that they felt strongly about. And had many of their friends as members. Filling four days of their week with volunteer work enabled Hank and Barbara to be together but not alone together. It was something they had not been able to do since they were raising children Farber says we're doing something together that has real. Meaning. That's a very interesting take on how one couple. Couldn't take each other being together and separated the other couple looked at it as work. And decided they needed to find something they could both sit together and enjoy. I think health imprint I think so it is really ends and I was gonna ask you when when you see. With the mostly women according to those that come in and say they want a divorce after being married more than 25 or thirty years yeah. What did they say they reasoned was some of them will say we were fine when I never saw. And he was working an I was drinking and maybe you even working separate shifts yes and L a sudden you're together all the time. Yes and you know where she may Buick and a part time job comes home and now he once it EU expects her to bring in the world. You know okay find tell me everything that happened today and that could be either gender that's sure of of okay fine and now let's socialize through Yale. And can be very taxing PG could. Wanna come home and just. And just turn it off instead of OK now tell you about my day to the next two hours. I've had some women come in and say we're together 24 hours today I can't take it anymore. I have given some people advice of OK go out and work elsewhere whenever a life. And so sometimes people that they say. I just can't take that much togetherness. And really when you think about it that's an awful big responsibility out on that. Relationship. Of now you need to be everything for everybody. Because I think it is a very healthy approach to say. Okay we're going to volunteer either separately or together. And do something. Or were working part time job or whenever I do something. Separate Horwitz other people and to be honest with you. I knew from personal experience you don't get on each other. About you doing this wrong if there's another couple there. Or zero and other people there yes you know and then it's not just OEE did that wrong or. It out here let me do anything you can do anything right you know that kind of mentality. Of you know being critical of a spouse you can do and it's just to review. Yeah but. If there's a group of eight or ten have you green and Goran you maybe don't get that kind of criticism. May have. Then and I know what I would love you know and I looked up and down out of anybody's got it back shut. They found some of the fact that when just. Spoke of behind him the weight at this point how many people are getting divorced after 25 I want it orally at between bad and the baby boomers. Actually I I did read articles in anticipation today and they said baby boomers because they expected so much more out of their relationship. It wasn't just seat. The can't filling the roles that it was in the fifties and sixties right. And when the baby boomers got married I would you be my soul mate and when you be my best friend and when he would be the best husband or wife ever won need to be the best mother father ever analgesic space. Expectations were raised. So that number one what they thought found out with. The high rate of a baby boomer divorces is that a lot of times is not even their first marriage her first two horse. And what went there's what they're seeing is maybe you hand. The short term marriage that didn't work out and now the long term marriage and you're saying I don't know if we're gonna say around forever. Yeah but also there's another aspect that I'm hearing women as they come in. And unfortunately as we get older and perhaps crank here. You how bad that element to it and maybe it's health related maybe it's attitude related but you do have that you know. Here she is harder to live what's. And you know what they're calling set UAE's or whether they're just getting up getting older and crank here. I Ide and seen women coming in and today I can't take him anymore. I can't take him doing. A beer seats and an actor he's bad now I don't wanna be one caring for him when he gets older and sicker. But and I'll do it doesn't sound night he says it's her own it just I think there there's a real a real truth that that ring Savannah. You know it it being summoned caregivers such a big obligation. And we expect out of a spouse when their right bright clear wrongfully expecting another spouse and then a lot of people looking ahead to. Okay where sixteen now are we seventy now and thinks are really only gonna get rougher. And I am seeing women come into my practice saying. Blood I'm done I'm I'm done now and when I get out before he really gets handed. And then and then I'll look like a bad guy as I leaf. Oh yeah. You know what your obscene that too so it's easier ones where there's just no juice left to their relationship. Can you see it where they stayed together through to kids and and said okay fine this is all there is to life. And you have reached a conclusion of you know I can I can do OK on my yeah. Head because I don't think there's that strong sense of I need an identity. Because a lot of women have maintained their own identity yeah and unlike other other decades where it was someone's husband. As some his wife yes and I see that in my mother is very much identifying as I am Jack's wife yes. Or somebody it someone's mother someone's wife and I don't think my mother would ever contemplated desk and never at her home. Now let you see what you see the baby boomers contemplating this because I think they've permit remains a lot. A lot more autonomous than in any other generation before. Apple alarm and that's a quick break here or and we will be right back you're listening to the Gloria mentioned. Here Gloria and Lynn. Welcome back my name's Lyn Evans I am the when am I I'm the managing director. Sure your efforts I forget I'm the managing director. Of financial planning firm called women of substance LLC. It's designed around the special needs of baby boomer women. I'm also the host of the podcast called power of the purse. And that's I'm available on. ITunes stitcher and Google play. And I'm Marty Kaplan the owner Marge has meant to crack that which is the fun great PR. And special event that this. Shot and we're live from Florida. Yeah are really the only car that got one about why one out of three. And in our guest today tell you how can I guess today is so attorney Barbara O'Hara who's been practicing law for 38 years may be should generate. And she's with the law firm. Cues Nickels and O'Hara and done march so she is our guest expert who's. Said that she would stay with us for two segments today EA. So welcome Barbara thank you thank you and we were talking about gray divorce yourself her divorce which is divorced so people over fifty yep and Lori wanted to say is special. I want a patio obviously give the big shout out or until a friend to learn it's. Mr. Dan Welch C a last week I was leaving. And he was getting the car and that's how did you get that high impact car when he just went off rating of I DN market is bad you know anyway get a big shout out to our friends in roach felt I missed. Go ahead of continuation. Kind of floors. Create yet and what and I've said this before but I want I want the young kid working at third national bank. I'm opening up a count as a country serve which represented the women who are an older women and I would say your name increase they would same benefit. I'm John and get an it would it would be completely numbed your first name I can't open your account that was like joy and I. I don't I met Ernie got meat and. Now and I know my mother my mother used to say it she was mrs. John O'Hara. And if I said no your kindness she would say no no no that means I'm divorced. Oh and he would I'm mrs. John and which means I'm married and she's very proud of the fact that two's management I would too wonderful things. But wonder if it let my god if somebody used your first name. Or said mrs. Agnes as she says oh no that makes me sound divorced and I'm not sure and it was coming up seeing it eat and my only stuff that. Yeah nobody here and now what it would guitar. The bar well it was a different time different yes you'll see different perceptions. You know my mom's ninetieth Nixon still feels that way. Look she knows he'll tell you her name's businesses. Jag iron yes OK I guess isn't really does address that here are my. Way to be pointed out she baby meant that John O'Hair but look at the guy Rasheed Brett. Yeah. Now. Yeah go iron yeah house and put it even changed hurt able filter it. I know I'm like I said that was one of the stupidest things I've ever done I said but added I'm paying your name and he said but still you're stupid. I am I my dad enjoyed immensely and and I think we get away with I guess that's that's true answer over there so we were talking about gray divorce yourself did you Morrison's. Divorce over the age of fifty. And is presenting new. New reasons for why people are getting divorced but also new challenges that. And the reasons you know you see some people who the relationship is pretty well over. Or spent and other people who say you know we have different. You know we wanna retire different places I've had people come in and say he wants is I want to stay here around the grandkids UNC go off to Florida I guess for gonna divorce. It it went there for whatever reason people are doing that. I've also seen situations where there was a very strong. Religious threesome my people would not divorce moon. And so they which is simply leads supper lives fight and like you just mentioned in that case but what happened is the husband go and live in Florida because you want to. And the wife would stay somewhere around her grandchildren. And they would never go through the process some doors because. They didn't think that religiously they could do it tea but they also just felt comfortable Dylan had ended and she would benefit from that because if they got divorced. She would really not have anything and neither was he. But the way it worked out she paid the bills he took care of things and it worked. So yeah IP you have to look at that as an option to limit when I seen so many times is at that point in the gray divorce after 25 or thirty years of marriage. The retirement assets. Have to get divided in half and who can live. On half of that that's for some people nice it doesn't work true it. Because then the. They'll under the your grade separation. They're entertaining to have so it's yes so in some cases. That's okay maybe the mortgage is paid off of the PA have Roslyn maybe the Florida one isn't that expensive and yet you can afford to do that again but. Now if you're talking about OK we're going to get to force. And the greens are selling the house are you buying on each other's equity what's the big deal here because it is a separation and a financial partnership frank and you know she might not be able to go out and get a mortgage for that I have listened to presentations when he talked about reverse mortgages and things like that which. People could consider but really like them or not. But. It presents a whole new financial challenge you tell us it because now you're looking at you know what is it will I have and you really don't wanna be destitute in your later years either I mean so yeah of freedom but at what price meant so you don't get. People agree with this kind of stuff but I'll be 30 willingly and openly. That's they just do it properly never divorce I mean are people agreeable. I I have had some people. A green is that where. They didn't see a reason to get divorced it was only if there's anybody waiting in the wings right and AB day it maybe draft up a separation agreement that says okay find. You're gonna do with. Yes and you. You know you stay and then the Pennsylvania house and he stays in this the Florida house. And this is how much money you get or people do without lawyers still. And just you know be content just a falls into that. I was gonna say that I have two couples that are living that way right now. And it was interesting because that that they work couples but. In an instance I mentioned the Pennsylvania house in the Florida house the Florida house resident died. And so that it for the woman who lived in Pennsylvania it was virtually none event. Because Carl is reminding its balance yes I don't know widow now yes but when I'm sane is. It was okay for her to be that because her life had already been developed by without hearing so it didn't really have that much of an impact on her life it wasn't the emotional right turmoil and grief. It was more OK fine. He's just not coming back right. And that's how it works and so that's the other issue that you have to look at them and you just brought it up. If you're surviving. Window you have benefits. That you may not have if you work. A and a divorce perhaps okay by. In your divorce you need to look at what are the pension rights you're going to get. And have done your qualified domestic relations order to make sure you get them Social Security takes in if your marriage is longer than ten years. So you're not losing Social Security make sure your marriage is ten years yes. If it's died I have if you might want to. And and that's still the data decree. So he's not to do it data separation so from your date of the official marriage. 200 data the decree has to be ten years for you to collect under his so security you can go on Social Security dot gov. Just see what percentage of his. To see what your rights are I mean obviously you need to be old enough to collect under his ED a marriage of ten years and also. People who say oh under the collector early you wanna evaluate their sense of what's better for you to collect. At the reduced amount at 662. Be mindful of the fact that there are now pushing the so security. Agent full retirement back. So I surprised Delaney last night by saying to her she said I'm just get the full retirement 62 I said no you won't. And she's only 54 and I said if you wanna go online but my guess is you're probably 67. While. Boy did I break her heart that is and if you look did you like. What do you mean I have to work on well you can take a reduced amount a lot of times is not. And your financial best interest to do that. So. It you can you cool it equipment it's not yet you're divorced when you're able the collect if you haven't had not started your ex husband has not started collecting you don't know what. You have to you know what every one of these I either send people lose a security officer I go back to is Sosa still security at its Social Security got. Gov and look at those rules because everybody's facts are different. And you get is she older than he is I have some cases where the women are substantially younger. And you say oh you're not going to be in a clutch her real long time and you have to be mindful of the saints number one don't. Don't leap but for you know what is she can get OK because. You don't want to be in a situation where. When he's on a financial I cents to enjoy your new freedom. And I think also that there's so many myths out there that people create or listen to him hour and a coffee table or wherever. Oh yeah you can do this and you can do that and a lot of women will boldly go on and say yes I wanna get a divorce because I know that I can collect what ever. No you can't. Comes into my office telling me that yeah I think it since yeah. Well just you wait a minute how how did you hear that well. I get here dynasty and the senate taking out that's not a reliable source you know and it's a nice person I talked to. But I have absolutely what it is you can get him so it's a matter of going down so security and finding out or go on their website and find out with the rules are. I mean you really. Mean. Knowledge is power and you really need to be equipped for the best and not look at this and say. I thought I could collect and now I can't. Right well you know when you don't quit the job until you know you're doing and you know I realize it's gonna keep people employed longer but. So be it would do what can you do. Well the nonaligned but I think that's the point that you you just. Clarified because you had someone come she would say that is that people assume. But they've got their ducks all lined up and they know that they can now do this financially and I'm German dogs. Yeah there really confirmed the guys act and know what it is okay now have. This much out of his pension. You know may be a work a part time job. I'll be easily guess a security add this year you know you know at a particular year not. You know I'm just gonna take elite and and I hope that everything works out well. I don't know he got a meal planner began to plan for your own financial stability soon. I was just thinking oh my conversation I had recently with a woman who is up from here what she is from here originally but she doesn't live here. As she was telling me that her soon to be acts. Believes that he has. Was going to handle this by himself the divorce that there are going through because. She was going to point to the judge the fact that. She was gonna inherit some money from her mother and their. How are you don't even consider that. Now and therefore he has no matter he property Ares I lurid. And what people like to think in their head what the why is it to even things yeah so I always always go out gained good legal advice don't presume that. Does your husband told you something and that's how he thinks the world is according to him it isn't necessarily how good the courts will rule. She checked what's it what the lie is run by the situation was it with a good family law attorney. And don't say well I didn't think there was alimony in Pennsylvania my husband told me there wasn't. Well you know I'm of course he may tell you that oh yeah. A split up I can't tell you how many times I've urged my husband told me I can't go after his pension. I think mother and son in law is different bold but general may command and you say well. Don't I don't. Is that have been a couple times a week. On that note for you have to call of the day here and I think thanks so much for being here always nice very nice nice talk it's a woman. And tell everybody how they can reach you I know I'm in Dunn more at 1421 E Street or street. And my phone numbers five cents 03447171. I'm practicing like wanna lose you earn between Susquehanna and lamb. Are you taken so William. Have a London's OILO and boom thank you and that he's happy where they might love big in my lap of the day. Yes and doesn't appear that proved that no thanks for everything every each Abby safe and I think the night. 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