Author Thomas Lickona PhD

Newsmaker Interviews
Tuesday, April 10th

Author and psychologist  Dr. Thomas Lickona Ph.D. joins WILK's Sue Henry to talk about "How To Raise Kind Kids


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

You can't wait very. Coming out of this crisis. I don't think is gonna happen. This weekend looks very hell that's fine arts yes that's some artists pay tribute to the local town's culture with art works that included do you have a cigarette. Have you as saying you as soon Henry. King. Well hello there. This is the greatest weather ever heard and I feel like me to wake up every day and look at the Winona and think why. Why does it always look the same. Why it hasn't looked this way since October does anybody know. Don't you worry because on the weekend they're going to give you a little taste of spring and a limited ticket away I want to be nice. Friday and seven made Saturday's 75 and then Sunday seven and then twelve. Just kind of weather's very very bad and has a tendency to around. Now hurt fragile people boat will sink. It's just it's it's too much remains but again I don't know what to telling. It is what it is and we can't changes tennis seven A Debbie laugh cable we can change topics which are about to do right now. When we talk to the the father of modern character education how fat. That's going to be a tall order in this day and age. We are welcoming to our showed doctor Thomas look Kona the author of how to raise kind kids. And get respect gratitude. And a happier family in the bar in good more doctor how are you. Gloria I'm very good thank you are you. I am now living the dream like the rest of the people who live there just waiting for spring to start and I don't know where you're calling from but how was it where you are. Well Lou. Little little dust figure should go here in central New York but not so bad it's. Getting measures to and so reports. And then will be able to put those kids outside which is going to be good for them because then they can run around but let's talk about Europe. You work in a little bit of your history doctor look on how did you get in just did. In the topic of character. Children and and they're raising kids who were cut and what what led you to this work. Well when I was doctoral student in psychology what caught my interest the most slows to build conscience. How consult the sense of right wrong. And I did my early researcher on how actual reason about what's portrayed wrong and and we servers in our own family their entry work with teachers in the future education program that I directed it is that you received north Corel. So my focus for them to less room for decades is really been. How to devolved. The sense of morality. To all the capacity for for doing what's right into the face of pressures. And that's been city's. Focus from professional work with teachers and parents from under fifty years. It is their point of never return in this development. Of a conscience and Iraq and round because often times we here. It is so important to work with kids. When we're raising them to get them to these points if if children don't know right from wrong what happens. Well certainly. Mean they're characteristic is history of our habits haven't street corner formation require practice if you sort of information earlier than. You're able to build on that if you have kids so bad habits and do that and so certainly easier to start early bird. There's it is never too late there's a wonderful process cities to. To the break into human nature. Feel religious perspective there's the grace of god is always possible become a better person. And there are interventions for example have been done and president. Try to give people greater sense of their dignity meaningful. Voice in decisions that affect the alliance. Crucial supporting counseling. Well there in Mason and even in this environment with people come from pop flies. What if they've been able to make a difference so. Character is a process. A local civilians at birth and continues until vessels that virtually. I have I know who I I do I attack you at this book but it would. What are your feelings about the half flu and -- teen when news on the story what did you think about to this kind of defense firm did the same. Ethan couch. Com seem not to no matter what you think about that. All to insert the terms these days showed their spoil their children. Yes and also some parents sister doing all the giving kids overtaking. Children need chore person real responsibilities and so away from the earliest stage two good opportunities to. Contribute to feel like you're pre score. What bounces says she does server three year old tunnel through to. Gonna type a flu float Greisen baby. And she should credits his support of the tourism resources to walk. And they're very proud of what they do that your. Help out in the assembly so we can nurture that from the earliest years and think it could get did this assembly is everybody working together to parents. Through all the providing console consuming. Kind of assessment that's a good statement and in this teenage doctor with the out. The pervasive. Social media culture and the you know the way that's consumed many families in and lives how does that add to possibly to making your jobs. As a parent it's more difficult. Well we assess ourselves through. Rules then realized that we are due screens. Forcing many Israelis screens to conform to shut down silica rescission world staring at them. We're not talking to each other. We need to create the kind of silly culture where we're face to face interaction. It is happening in ways to make a difference. That are censorship should be it's time for meaningful. Exchange you. Thoughts feelings ministers who chose the best for the worst part of your day or something kinda some great difference today it was a kind of thing you do for somebody else. I would be looking forward to it was a problem here you do with the city's almost of these. Topics for conversation where everybody is table mesa country shouldn't have chances to speak. And that phils. Meaningful change into film anyway and so as part of a pattern these terms of the support. Around this great fools would be grateful for today. So that have been here since before. That time because true for connector virtual warrior reading good books with children. Books and teach kindness and other virtues are tons of them out there should choose books with a strong characters seem to make the most of that and it's time. We patrolled into bed. So we can be proactive we can be intentional relationship of silly culture was able to. Provide us stronger foundation. So it's and so are not so vulnerable to the bid instances where culture. I'm just mentioning and after the comment on that a lot of people are trying to do this by themselves in the stand name just seems sound like a single parent home as. Com more common than he used to be and that does sometimes they either mom or dad whoever's raising the candor somebody else. But by the time they reach that part of the day. And there are so filled an overwhelmed with what's happened to them today. How they resent her themselves and say you know what I've just got to shed all this leave it behind and be with these children at present in the moment because. I think it's a very difficult thing for people who finally get to walk in the door kept at 5 o'clock didn't have to put dinner on the table on May be stressed from what happened to them all day. To actually be positive and have this dialogue with kids. Then you're actually right were also war or struggle and not of their best of raiders front and you know collapse and deepened its civilian it's. But it's no matter to look at for the natural opportunities in this military estimates say is making their world. That's and pensions for children to be part of occasions they have to help out and him through. We're in them to court to make some small contribution and so at the table will be part of the process of a fifth of February and then. Look for the opportunities to deal with things sit. Spontaneous or. This some of you probably will sit down talk witnesses over here Friday when your little brother Eric we will announce its fair. You take these two things are right in front of cool I agreed to pay attention. Where this pleasant. We're not yelling and screaming you guys are getting ready for this is to reduce. We. You sit down and gather ourselves if you try to do little problems just to react concession in your fees often you're gonna ensure passenger bill. Doing things that really make it worse. And then long term and that means protecting some time where you do. 2000 fail into a classic was pretty rough I'm glad it's over or make Mexican federal. Yours is single mom she's her problems there's Scioscia on the phone her two boys seven and five guys who have played in this year that a tree is mister big going on and nothing was working. So problem and so they've they've been that it's popular for assailing me. Just more often than and so I told them. So here's here's the situation went around for you guys get wide open in the billing issues okay. What are your feelings about this and then how to resolve this problem. And then the kids complain for their side was says she's been great Jewish on the phone they get to play with them and she didn't realize that that was how they felt about. Her being on the phone so thank you for a new inserted them they would get an agreement. My office constitutional tells shall tell the person she is visible colder what Michael's assistance is to vote on the phone children maker calls a little shorter. And ship via Brussels for a long time that we will be gave. And that would open the first shipment of albeit in Syria was working with the mother says there was very much less arguing intensely about this problem in the home. So it just taken its time. To say look what's the problem here what are your feelings your mind clear so what is fair and and following up on to see how things are working to make an enormous difference. And certainly life and you have a feeling you know that you're pulling together so when things go off the rails is such as a parent show this fixes its servers. And that it turned pulled together it seems as like such a great concept didn't seem so simple and it seems so logical. But we often know finds that there are some non. You know people in the Stanley who are working against it and they would be siblings and Ian on the siblings in the children where there. They're ready each other's throats and well I had to three small kids at months. And it if I should put out that the other three and a half years apart and I found out dead. For the what is that were the most similar to each other for the ones that. Viciously fought each other is that normal. Well it's similar temperaments. KM. And Kovalev for action whether it's Katrina Serbs or from terror central business no two people. Are intense sector's problems. Both of shorts shoes and so on. But the only error. If you establish. The principal look. Him again recently as intrusive perish it's everybody's show all right. How do you how do you make it hard to become part of the solutions are part of the problem have a dedicated space. In the home for problems resolution. Calls to talk about cord itself recorder. And one there's a problem that's where you go we sit down. And you go through certain steps for Chicago. Content security for us. And you take turns saying what are your feelings or. About problems and you show you understand the other person okay your ability to feel sorry sir you feel. And youthful software which is a conservative got a fair solution as you Korea. In the beginning you're gonna have to stay in the air war construed potion convincing victory. You would if you were coaching in the sport. Some. Kind of skill. And then gradually to do more doron and eventually they can do is completely. And parents and had this experience were children Lorena if you got a problem you talk about your work you know. And what kids say it's going to be in particular responsibility it's an enormous step forward through. I think these are great ideas also I years years advising in your book that. When it when you all sit down together as a family and nine and you watch a film or whatnot it should be maybe something. That did demonstrates. It kindness courage compassion and Ian. Real if Bennett the things in your book conveys the seem to be inspired I realized events the movies that you ask. The Stanley is a get together and watch while I mean except when you get down to that may be Cinderella but a lot of them are actually based upon people. Who espouses the virtues. That says you too can a spouse because these were. Just a regular people you know my dad Jackie Robinson and and then Gandhi and they're they're just people like us to do. Sure sure and we needed for a good example for children that they also need inspiring examples beyond what we complied and and good who we can do good book to do that the film wonder based on the book for the same title. It was a great movie for showing its school being mean to a boyhood official before Republicans befriending him. And providing the support that he needed. You couldn't talk without necessarily you know when the movie showed tremendous who didn't. Whether. We had opportunities to. Your friend is somebody who maybe was being excluded are treating various school how we respond to what we do in the future the situation like there. Future memories from your own childhood maybe it was time you were kind. Didn't do so you know that help the child was being treated fairly appears. So baking making the most of those real life opportunities and has been accused of good books of goods sold was certainly part of we control for the super. You're the second person to tell me that the film wonders absolutely magnificent somebody would it was. Curious as to why it wasn't in the Academy Award running last year because it was such a powerful story of of of life and that the way the active things should be expressive extra bringing that back at doctor look on this was a good talked. I hope people learn a lot and if they want to know more you certainly are written in a good book about it. How to raise kind kids and get respect gratitude and a happier family in the bargain. So I thank you very much for joining us this morning and doing the interview on WLK we appreciate it. Thank you for your premise.