10-1-17 Sharing Recovery- Families in Recovery

Sharing Recovery
Monday, October 2nd

Recovery is possible. Sharing Recovery welcomes Rick B. and Sherrie P. Both Rick and Sherry are in programs of recovery for families. Rick and Sherrie speak candidly about the addict's effects on loved ones - the hurt, hope, and eventual healing.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Live from the WYE a tasty using Pittston Pennsylvania. Sharing recovery. Straight talk on today's struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery and recovery is possible. Schering recovery is sponsored by clear brutal treatment center and serenity lives and attorneys' fees and Manny only the views expressed on the show or not necessarily the it was an intercom. He's in staff management or sponsors and we welcome your calls with questions or comments. 05708830098. 41804370098. During your hosts Suzanne Kelly and Jack crop. Welcome sharing recovery. We're happy chose to spend some time with us this afternoon I'm Suzanne Kelly and I'm joined by fellow host Jack crop grew up on September 16. Unrated nineteen years every cover an awesome awesome Jack. We also want to take quick moment here and welcome I'm aren't stone recovery center who is and you sponsor of sharing recovery. So thank you very much art stone recovery for your generous support concrete plan on being on the air sharing stories for a long time here. Sherri recovery is about health hope and healing how we believe recovery is possible. But we also know too well that silence can often equal death. Today sharing recovery welcomes Rigby and she iriki. They're both rich and Sheri aren't programs are recovery for families. Today Rick and share even speak candidly about the ethics effects on loved ones hurt I hope any eventual healing. And this is a light show coming to use so we encourage your calls with questions or comments if you have a question for Jack if you have a question. For our guests please call 570830098. Or 180437. 0098. Thank you so much and welcome. Thank you. Okay brings a low key area's nice to have you here thanks for coming in. Today we wanna talk about. How this came together and Rick you have family members Sherri you have a family member. Below what it was like him. When you've got to realize that you needed help. Not not be addicts in your lives how they US families. Needed to protect yourselves and get help for yours. So loyal army jumping hearing tells a little bit about how this all started for. I didn't realize that there was alcoholism going on in my life. I was a lot of denial. And finally. Things just got so bad I went for her outside counseling in. I was directed. It's a joke or try to get some help it is a family disease that you feel very isolated and very alone. You don't think anybody else is feeling this way are going through what you're going to throw. And I went silence. And got some help and realized that I never had to do this alone again. I don't have to be by myself there are people out there who share my story and might not be exactly the same story that I had but we all have the same feelings. And we all share this together and we can't. Through this one day at a time I came in very angry very fearful. Very afraid and threw it's well steps I have been. Able to recover and be okay Cheryl was your life like for you I'm living with someone who was an act. I was I was crazy eyes and myself I was very. Volatile up a one minute I could be. Happy and and the next minute I was throwing things and screaming like a maniac my children were afraid of me. And I took a very long time to heal that took a very very long time to heal I have learned coping skills. People have taught me how to cope with Egyptian. Addiction happened long long time ago I was a little girl and Dino de addiction is not just. After I got married there was addiction in my family that I didn't realize. Until. Many many years later I came here and I I had people help me stats showed me that. It Dixie and to an I'm white framed me what came from childhood. Gains. And I learned how to heal. Guess I learned how he I understand thank you I'm I can relate totally to what to what you're saying in its influence on a life of peace now and how about you. Sure you couldn't set a better. Did that takes you learn as a child and growing up an alcoholic families are the tapes and play out into your teenage years and years. Adult years. And if you don't do something to change those tapes you're going to continue. To lead to live in chaos. What haven't had an actuary is. I have two daughters who screwed if you weren't dealing with alcohol or drugs they were dealing with food disorders. And food disorders. From what I total I'm told are far more difficult to deal with an alcohol or drugs because alcohol and drugs you don't need. Food you have to have every day and so what my daughter told me my one daughter only was it. You have to take the lion added a cage four times a day in order maybe to feed yourself but do we have to put him back in because it's such a mental thing that goes on in your head. Well. I got here because. I caught my daughter in the throws her addiction one night I. I end up gonna going to do until I heard the toilet flush she was growing up I heard the toilet flush once in the night I heard a flush again. And I'm trying to boy that's really weird. It's it's like 11 o'clock at night and I go downstairs and I thought something what was wrong with the toilet. And they're busy evidence is there are so I confronted my daughter about it. And I was just totally totally. Destroyed. And so what do we had. Another conversation but confrontation. And at that point I just I. Sat on her bed with her and send. I would do anything to take this addiction from you. Because it. Today it's still bothered me. What. I saw my older daughter lives through it. And in my older daughter almost three times. So. I knew that I had to do something and fortunately for myself and my wife we found a program. Where. We know living here. Where we. Could live one day at a time and learn that it was there we have no control that's a problem with parents' income was done. Children better addicts is at our higher education at its control of our kids and so. I don't. I learned just like oh my god. Understand this is not a religious programs is spiritual programs and find that you find what you need to get into the other side. And I've learned that I higher power. Doesn't formulate a daily basis. And today and I'm very grateful because I have two daughters that have been sober for six and a half years so. How can it get any better. Well okay and what we're markets are closed today is the fact that he would be added Malone won and we love them. Apparently so we look at the death. That's 11. Compo component your the other component is that we need to have a way to deal with it. Our lives with the help of a program for recovery program. So we can maneuver around and I say we because as we hear his retirement a family members as well as an an addict myself. And we have to have a program to work. So we can understand. Our lives in relation toward children or our husband or father or mother whoever that person is in our life. That has an addiction. How do we deal with debt for ourselves. We can't spend our whole lives. Trying to figure out our child or spouse whatever their addiction we've got us we have to live our life. And how we get to that point. And both of you guys Eric a program of recovery. What is this program what does that do power how does a program of recovery help you as a family members can turn people listening right now I hope. There aren't. Family members there don't know where it's earned that they never have that experience. Of having someone say. We are the same issues you do we have the same problems you do the same thought you knew how do we get help for that and that's what we wanna share today. Okay we're gonna be I'm learning more about cam is in recovery are right now we need to take a quick break don't go away we'll be back. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team clear bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices of alcoholics anonymous pastoral services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. I called clear that today at 5702602600. Yeah. Jason Mehdi Oly Izzy personal injury and criminal defense lawyer prepared to fight for you. Attorney met the only has an exceptional record of defending the rights. Of those arrested for you why in drug offenses. He also represents victims of tractor trailer an automobile accidents. Premises liability product defects and work related accidents. If you are a loved one has been arrested or injured call attorney Mehdi only at 570961. 1616. Serenity lunches in safe structured supervise sober living community. Three young men located in the beautiful mountains of Susquehanna county Pennsylvania. Serenity lodge has perfected. The missing peace between addiction treatment and real life serenity lodged teaches how to use the principles of recovery along with age appropriate life skills. Cause serenity lunch today he has 57065082. 05. Ladies got asked recently I was lucky enough to spend the day with a classic did it and talk to them. I've realized more than ever to struggle but teachers face every day just applied as students have the right tools the right environment to. This is their. That's why I'm keeping up with staples for. They're donating huge million dollar donors choose Evelyn and fun things Sunday's. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk once and he struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovering. Recovery is possible we welcome your calls with the questions or come. Missed all 570830098. Or 18043700. And I may. You're euros as Suzanne Kelly and check crop. Welcome back to sharing recovery under for the break we were talking win for Rick and Sherri. I'm both families are in programs a recovery recovery for the families. Because. When you are when you have an addiction when there is an addict in your family it's not just the attitude affected it is every once it's a ripple effect and its tentacles reach everyone. So today we're talking about families in recovery and Jacki were you had a great question for Rick and for sharing before we went on the break about. You know what it's steps what do you do. What warriors are I mean how did you guys find is this program of recovery. And what does somebody do who. Is sitting under coach right now doesn't know which way to turn how are they find a recovery program. How long is a pitcher's injury doing this twenty years congratulations. And prayers seven years. Craig's sudden there's this month that's wonderful so. Cheri Barrett that. When did that late tomorrow windows somebody's finally get to you and saying here go here go there. I think if I remember back and you know it gets kind of feisty. And back then I was really thinking clearly. But I would I'm sure that it was found. Outside counseling to directing me to go somewhere and I felt so bad. At the time that I would've done anything because you know I'm thinking that this addiction is my fault. So I'm gonna do with anything I can. So that way you can't say it's your fault that he did yes it's your fault that she's in. Also so you actually believe is that the person in your life that was drinking too much it was your fault. When you first coming your skin but what I do wrong move could I have done something differently. And using he recognized that that that you were blaming yourself for work or C edit. Totally different to those are around them. I mean I'm not quite sure because I can't speak for him. Thumbs thinking that he might kick in I'm I I can't think what he was what he's thinking. Thumb but he certainly was manipulative. And everybody manipulating me this big bed. You know I was doing something that was made you know that yes he is. OK okay she might have manipulated me into black or you know people tell me something people tell me that I did this wrong even if I didn't I start to think well maybe I did do this wrong. How many nights did I lay in bed and say. Boy I smell alcohol. And it was supposed to be sober at the time. And I would claim that ends they bring a smile on his I'd roll over and tell myself I was crazy I was a really selling alcohol OK so. That that's what goes on I remember blaming my wife who put the toilet paper on the role on one day and then that was a problem for me enough. That was just an excuse why I can go out and drink and therefore course provocative entertainment news. The toilet paper was on the upside down the laundry was on the floor in the laundry room. If instead of being in the wash her thought we don't call it a minute I want to take congress ready to get some calls and some people and I'm just pulled up after what are. We have on the line we have Jackie Jackie from Harvey's lake welcomed sharing recovery Jackie. Sherry and Rick. My name's Jackie and I MA I'm recovering alcoholic goes eleven years. And my question is pretty arms the Alan I'm members. There's certain things that I need to do in my recovery to keep me healthy and just stay on the right path. I'm wondering if the Alan I members do this same type of things that we do and recovery. I have to thing that's called that's going to her regular meetings having support groups found a sponsor. How important are these things I'm for you to maintain year healthy lifestyle as an Allen on number. Very important it's the same twelve steps. So everything that you do. I do. I'm a regular basis. And the more the more I go the more help and I ask for the better I get. Can carry. Jacqui good morning Nestle's rings a bell. Sounds the same thing we did attend the meetings we do greetings we you have support groups you lead sponsor people. And that we use all the tools that are that are available for use in order to keep us. Same right that's what we're all after serenity. And we find that in the rooms. So that explains how they and it it is the family's disease and. And down that we're all practicing the same thing to try to stay on the same page. The idea and what I've noticed what my daughters have told me is that if it wasn't for the program that we practiced. They would not have gotten sober. They saw myself on my wife who happens also died in the program for seven years. Doing the next right saying that the right thing was. It's going to meetings talking to people. And when they speak when my daughter speak they say. And that program that we use. My god then sober because we would not tolerate their PS we would not topple tolerate her manipulation and there are times or control anymore. And it pages. It was tough love and it worked thank god one bear it's time. Yeah and I agree I have cute family members one of my daughter is in recovery and just. You know I definitely. I have heard this same thing for my from my yeah my daughter and from my nephew. Unfortunately I give up the parenting side of his best. Elena soccer yeah. So don't know better and the parent. And sometimes it's hard to set that aside let's send it is true the betterment and that's the way I tried it. I try to let them practice their program as an attractive. Exactly get another way theory good Jacki thank you so much at all so Jackie broke a great point. You can't cure the act as a family member. And the family member I mean yeah I can't cure a family member I can't tell my wife enough times. It's not your business you don't understand don't worry I can handle this that we have to work parallel programs. I have to work a program of recovery and so does my family. And when those two parent those programs work in harmony together how life changes. So. Talked about that now guys talk about how life change your vote and participate in the current. Your family members participating or how does life changed and as you go forward. Well I stay out I totally stay out of his stuff and he stays out of my stuff. It's really hard to focus on yourself but you know we are. Uniquely unqualified to help our family members I have to depends on. His support was to help him and my support group helps me. We have gone in the same direction we we believe in the same things armed. We've learned to have fine. In recovery there is no there is no substances there's no mind altering substances involved in our life in any way shape performed and we have a blast and have a good time doing it. Correct. I learn to give my daughters and dignity and grace that is human being deserves. And I expect them to do the same for me. I as you said I cannot control another human being although I did have expectations. For my daughter's. Their expectations and mine were not the same from them what their goals were worth. Different and light and what I knew I had planned. They have their higher power that's going to take him in their direction they need to go and I have mine and I've learned that through the program and I practiced and it's worked. I've learned that I don't have to live my life in fear every day of what they're going to wake up and what they have to do I need to wake up and learn about what I have to do there's a long as I'm doing the next right thing. That's what matters. Okay now both of you mentioned my fair reward fear yes. Hear what he did the attic lives in fear and the family member lives in fear. Yeah I think as all kinds of fear going on in their mind and I know that for a fact. Fear of everything but as a family member. What are some losing you fear because they're different what he had any fears the editor she doesn't have enough time to get through the night he doesn't have. Enough money to get through tomorrow it's Fiat that reality as fears somebody's gonna find out what they're doing. I understand all those Florida family members fear share. While talking about the fear fear of financial insecurity. Fears that other people are gonna find my he's my children were very young at the time I was so fearful that he would find out that there was addiction in my life that nobody would be friends with me my children be ostracized they have no friends. Fear of losing my home fear it. Should fear of not having friends there was there is so much fear involved I didn't mind you don't want anybody else you know seat do you isolate yourself so people don't find an. Out. Okay. The attic on the other hand as fear that you're going to find out yeah I think once you receivers from only you know. As an alcoholic I wasn't afraid of walking in a bar every day and drinking until I fell down. I was afraid that. So we was gonna find out that that my friends like Larry and Eric gratifying out that I couldn't but I couldn't function anymore. That's what I feared. I was afraid of the fact that I was they find me on the front porch drunk I mean never that never entered my mind. It never entered my mind how my children perceived me and never entered my mind how the children that. We're going to school my children perceive me. Fear of losing I have no fear of losing everything that I did lose everything my family lost the house Wendell Ford we've lost the business my father alive and built for me. We lost everything. I never had those fears and that's where that disconnect I believe comes in that. As a family member you're over here. Petrified about what's going to happen what you think might happen the Aggies on the other hand doesn't care. They have no clue they're fears are completely a 180 degrees different. Tim what triggers as a as a member of the community yes. French what what did you. The fear. Future events appearing real. Yes we go out there and we're trying to predict what's going to occur in the in the future. Then we're lucky that we can control what's right in front of us now have a life that I use in my program independence. What is not what if what it takes you to fear. I just can't say how fortunate was I was that have. To find that this program. Went to a meeting up from Scranton. And read a pamphlet. And I read that pamphlet because I was so fearful. And that pamphlet told me. You need to get involved in this program not just you but you and your wife because. That will save it there's a 75%. Chance that by you doing this bad year and it can be saved. Well unbeknownst to me I knew I wasn't in net programs in my daughter. I was in their programs save me. Because I was a one whose share has said that she was insane and I was just as insane as apparent because. Look this addiction. I convictions I fixed my daughter's bicycle I think extra car I think everything I could. You know what can I came to the reality that I could not take tradition that's when I step back. Instead she has to do this on her own and what really made me fearful was that it wasn't just fourteen date addiction is not for today if you're gonna stay in recovery programs it's forever. So that was really really hard to except. I found my way to hook. So we. Before we show started we were talking about just things in general. And Rick we did talk on the fact that you that you run a successful business for 36 years and you've dealt with the issues of business all through that time. Anderson. Think I'm on the mathematics if there's a problem you fix it you'd go. Those few steps to fix any problem in business but those problems that that's not the way you fix addiction. And there is no facing. Very addition we've the family member has to fix. The family members and their. Sure okay we're going to be talking more about fixing in the family members addiction because of the family again is involves. Armed with his addiction with healing especially the healing we're gonna take a short break we'll be right back. Since 1970 to clear it treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team clear bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices of alcoholics anonymous pastoral services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. Yeah called clear that today at 5702602600. Jason Mehdi Oly Izzy personal injury and criminal defense lawyer prepared to fight for you. Attorney met he only has an exceptional record of defending the rights of those arrested for GUY and drug offenses. He also represents victims of tractor trailer an automobile accidents. Premises liability product defects and work related accidents. If you are a loved one has been arrested or injured call attorney met the only at 570. 9611616. Serenity lunches in safe structured supervised sober living community. Three young men located in the beautiful mountains of Susquehanna county Pennsylvania. Serenity lodge has perfected. The missing peace between addiction treatment and real life serenity Elijah teaches how to use the principles of recovery along with age appropriate life skills cause serenity lunch today at 570650. Eight to. 05. Thousands of families affected by disasters like the recent hurricane urgently need support you can help the American Red Cross provide warm meals shelter. And hope to families who need it most. Please join me today to Red Cross disaster relief and help people affected by disasters and big and small. Go to Red Cross dot org or call 1800 Red Cross today your support is critical that we can't do it without you. This is double BYUK. Powered by Sherwood Chevrolet Buick GM CE online venture would Chevrolet dot com. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk on today's struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery and recovery is possible we welcome your calls with questions or come. Missed all 5708830098. Or 180437009. Innings and you're euros as Suzanne Kelly and Jack problem. And welcome back to Sharon recovery before the break. We were talking about fear. And I Shari used as something very interesting on the break we have not yet spoken about insanity. This is not because it literally. Can drive you insane and and it's it's the fear is the control it's wanting to help. Is understanding that you've got to be obese fat control because that's the only way you family member. As a parent as a spouse as a close friend as a sibling that's the only way you can recover so he'd like to stand a lot of this year. Trying to reform to share we share with the audience what you said to us during the brief about fear. When you send you on there and I call you fear the idea on the thumb up from I'm afraid that he's gonna die. And then he pulled into the driveway and I think guys come I'm gonna kill. I'm not as great. Thanks for your taste is that point that you sit and wonder and wonder I wonder where it's whereas you what's going on. Why is she doing who she wins. And you get some relief or text message saying I'm homer I'm okay I'm here and your first thought is and I wanted to show us. Wake up. And so I was so afraid select go to control because if I let go of the control. Something might happen. But you really have any control at all no controls such an illusion of control there isn't there's no control at all. When I finally got out of the way things began began to have them back to mean a long time trying to. When you finally got to the point where you said he jewelry there and he regardless Hebrew word anonymous here you beat you over there and do whatever he does I'm gonna focus on me. And that I need to recover form medium I can recover whether he gets better or not. And there are people today family members that are in recovery who's batting slump one whatever hallmark still active. But let's talk about that a little bit that as a family. Remember pat you our spouse off father a boyfriend or girlfriend you can get better you messianic doesn't. And let's talk about the average. We do we see that in the rooms. Where there aren't. Wind in their men in their twenties and in his thirties and their loved one. Still happens to be drinking or drugging. And they want a better way of life. And so they decide. That I can do this I can be happy even know it's and one of them did it's in our readings I can be happy even though. The alcoholic or drug addict. It's still using. This team is still being miserable and we see this happen oh gosh it happens on a daily basis. Art and now we can do and we we haven't loved ones by an attic and our lives and we think they're sober. And then. We find out that's not necessarily true I have a friend and recovery. Well most of the time what he shares he says I came news programs for two or three years. Well I was drinking it. What. Sherri was that like. It's very difficult I am and an eight yen if I didn't cover recovery program because I am one of those people I lived with. Active addiction in my house. Why I was in a recovery program. I learned to focus on myself I learned to stop the screaming I learned to stop the ridiculing of the alcoholic. And I learned to lead by example so everything that I might of wanted to and to do that he wasn't doing a good time I did myself. There's no guarantees there's no guarantees that somebody's gonna get sober or not get sober but I can get better so as I was getting better. IE arms I just kept on a leading by example. I certainly didn't wanna see. Somebody else get better leave me in the dust so I made sure that I I I made sure that I did everything that. Anybody who had more experience than I had in this and to guide me along so I got better whether he was gonna get better or not. I think it's I'm personally for me. Is is I felt guilty for trying to take care of myself. That if I was not actively trying to help another individual or 21 seven. And it started to focus on myself that I was actually being selfish. Which is really twisted. Because I think. It's it's vital that you go along with your life and you let usage here is you you go by example you know. You walk the walk he just don't say end I think in an recovery program whatever recovery program you have. Focusing on letting go of that control so you can focus on yourself and you can take care of yourself. Because what good are you gonna need anyone anyone at all. If you continued and that's spiral so it's it's. It's quite a web. But it's it's possible to get out of it. Tell me about who's welcome in this program of recovery that you guys are referred to. Always there are are there men or women or their kids are doctors lawyers Indian chiefs. Everybody everybody is welcome every. If you have if you have been affected. By the disease. Of addiction you are welcome in any good in the program in any program. Just isn't fiction does not discriminate. Neither do we on the other side of the family. Program cannot discriminate. And so you see families from all walks of life from. And everywhere there are people that need help. Ask family members everywhere because I don't want people listening thinking well. I don't own a business or. I'm not a school teacher I'm not a doctor or I don't have the money to go to one of these programs. These firms are completely free completely set recovery programs there's there's no charge for recovery program. And there's a thousand of them here in the northeast on a weekly basis she needs so how does how does somebody find that your word you find this program. He's still on the Internet. Go on the Internet and then look at the bulked up and there is it's it's on the Internet and I just wanna say one thing about coming in no matter what you do whether you're a doctor or teacher or financial person. When you walk into these drones these Mims artists total anonymity said nobody's gonna share the you've been there. It's oftentimes people are afraid to go because they think oh my god I might see somebody. But they're there for the same reason that you're there. Nobody's gonna break your emanating nobody's gonna tell anybody that you have come Barrick. And they keep that secret that is part of the prince of. Also that's funny because over the years I've heard thousands of people saying. I I was embarrassed and he wants a BC he's going to a recovery meetings and I would say the same the other did you mind when you're laying on the floor of the bar. Did you mind when the neighbors were dryers and buying and it rolled out of the limo annually in the front lawn and the kids had a triple reading yet. It's a school bus. The did any of that bother you because. I'm proud of salmon recovery today I'm proud to say that I'm working this on a daily basis. I mean we started the show so we can share of the fact that this is everywhere that we can remove the stigma of addiction. For the family member of pancreatic. Because family members walk around like grow on Irish Catholic family your card. Look absolutely nothing I mean usually only on the floor bleeding you can say we need a doctor no mobile. And that's what we're trying to do here is explain to anyone willing to listen to anyone wants to hear it. There is a program for recovery. And everybody your better you don't have to bow to better the act and found a reason you better do separately but you can't get better. And stop worrying about what people sanctions because they're pitching is everywhere there. Could point jackets into what people think and and you don't you get it's a shame. I'm you may feel shame. And an embarrassment it. And I remember series and maybe getting a show like you would isolate yourself will you isolate yourself because you think your freak you're the only one who's going through this then that compounds the issue. Because you're over here and you see the rest of the world going on over here. And it's just totally out of proportion of reality you know Jack and I talked many times everyone knows and how. Everyone knows and that's where the an order not you know at least one back to your legs. Well. Do you know anybody beside your kids. Most of the people I know it now. And it's only because it their funds. Life does not have to involve alcohol or drugs or whatever but I'm socially wanted to say it was. Has changed my life so fast sleep along with my wife said it's saved our marriage because it do we never communicated. I'm never never communicated. And when I say at a meeting with how grateful I am that my daughters where addicts. It's like quad. And it and I need to follow that up list yeah because it sounds very program and my program is changed my life. This is my life I have become a better person because of the program that I mean and it's because they became addicts. And that's something we talked about before the show started also. The relationship I have with my wife now is much better today than it was twenty years ago. Today we have a genuine relationship that's caring and loving it. Prior to that we had two separate lives Sylvia how life with the kids and she took care of all that and I do I wanted to do. And didn't care. But I didn't do that was malice aforethought I didn't do any intentionally hide inside out to hurt anyone. But I did hurdles people but today. This recovery has brought us together as a family and then. So after fifty every seniors are my being your recovery program we've trying to we have a child and now he's at same health. And that brought us even tighter it brought us closer. As a group. Now we're running it. Now I don't play on on two teams you know I got to play on the family member teams but I sought to play on the addiction side I would if you did you sign better. No we did that. Clinton who bet that's for their families get better may heal. Medically mentally and physically and emotionally Visio. When they can participate. In a program of recovery. And MS. That's correct today you. And I didn't break we're talk about what life is lakes clean and so we're from both sides. We'll be right path since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team. Clear bricks approach to addiction is largely based upon the proven practices of alcoholics anonymous has store services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. Called clear that today at 5702602600. Yeah. Jason Mehdi Oly Izzy personal injury and criminal defense lawyer prepared to fight for you. Attorney met the only has an exceptional record of defending the rights of those arrested for do you lie in drug offenses. He also represents victims of tractor trailer an automobile accidents. Premises liability product defects and work related accidents. If you or a loved one has been arrested or injured call attorney Mehdi only at 570. 9611616. Serenity lunches in safe structured supervise sober living community. Three young men located in the beautiful mountains of Susquehanna county Pennsylvania. Serenity lodge has perfected. The missing peace between addiction treatment and real life serenity lunches teaches how to use the principles of recovery along with age appropriate life skills. Call serenity lunch today at 57065082. 05. And human services secretary Tom price says he won't pay back about 52000 dollars for his use of a private jet it's just a fraction of the total cost. The big question is trump fire him PS SA test scores across birdies Pennsylvania have overall taken a turn for the worse and support from the gamut from pretty good duke can that be right. The rest of the state to get up returns so what happened here in the 64000 dollar question. Eric cold cash contest kicks off Monday have a great weekend. Morning news with Webster Renee and see mornings from six tonight on WYOK. Yeah. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk on today's struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery. Recovery is possible we welcome your calls with questions or come. Missed all 570. Eating 30098. Or 1804370098. You're euros us Suzanne Kelly and Jack problem. And welcome back to sharing recovering we have a few minutes left so yes if you do want to. Speaks to our guests today we are talking about families and recovery you can Collison 570830098. Or 1800. 4370098. And we were talking about life. During and after recovery say here in this program. I you've learned how to get your life back. And what is life like for you today Sherri. Of my life is wonderful today behind you know I had. We both live in a recovered household I have two children. Hey blue who don't come true recovery program but have very much Tim brought up in the. Households are recovering you concede in them the calmness and serenity that we have the things that we get to do together. My husband and I actually like each other which is amazing. We're gonna be married for 37. Years this month and my graduate foresees an. That would happen. If if it was not for this recover from because we hate each other we couldn't talk hike. Mean I was I didn't like I couldn't stand the way did you choose just to jury put on his pants or the way that he walked in. It wasn't a doubt the way to be issuing this sooner or anything any of those actions that he was doing. Those things aren't you know. That that's all the benediction. I candy again. The miracles that have happened in our life as a result of recovery. I resolve presses in the twelve step program and having alcoholism and a in my life have changed my life all for the better so anybody who once did anybody who's having problems I. I really. Suggest you go vote for help and waits for the miracles happen for you because I didn't think that happened for me. And I have 88 and finally of argent and I didn't talk to for about seventeen years. And Obama I now talk to everybody in my family. And I used to listen to people tell the stories about how their families recovered and they based talk to their siblings again in and made amends and I didn't think that would ever happen for me. It doesn't just I have to take down many years for me it did. But I have relationships with everybody in my family today because I've learned to let them live and and I let them be and I let him be who they are and I can have a relationship with a nice view. Very grateful for that wonderful cherry and being from. The addiction side being the alcoholic in the room. I would just like to ask you one question this person you refer to when your life that that was he acting like how long you've been sober. Seventeen years god bless you I mean that's just wonderful and and what I hear you saying. And what I feel and what I hope my family feels today is gratitude. I mean I'm 100% grateful to be an alcoholic. I am one publishing grateful for the program that I participated in on a daily basis because it has changed my life. Rick what's life like today is or any final afterwards like when you get into this program recover your student but he just sit in the corner coloring books. Life's all about acceptance anymore. Bezos and Susan I don't I don't judge people anymore. Life has become the unconditional love. I'm a big hug her. When I see somebody that I know I am in my arms are wrapped around them because I did not have that when I was growing up I had a family that was very descent. And I have found that how meaningful life can be. Bite them belonging to this recovery program. Pump our family today. I remembered I daughter works Lawrence never saw that I would have a relationship with her. That I would have my wife works with my daughter every day airline best buds to. And it as you said gratitude every day is gratitude wake up but my feet on the floor where is my gratitude. And well I can say is thanks again and there was. Something you said about your the relationship you have with your daughter today. I didn't celebrate nineteen years on Monday this past week. And in the program Miami in week we get it we have a celebration tonight we get according my daughter gave me that corn. And I am my daughter. When she expressed so how she feels wrong me in my recovery. So that I am her best friend. And there is no there are no secrets here to me in my stories are marvelous surgeries I spent some time in prison. So I was imprisoned I would call home my youngest daughter would you speak to me. And taste she's my best friend. And that all evolves. As a result of working with a recovery program. And yes so I'm full of gratitude every day of the week. Now. Hey I have a true friends. When I was in a bar. I have friends as long as the money last and if I had 300 dollars worth of money and I had three are for the friends do you have any friends and as per share. I have enormous for and that's program. And it's their life with those friends I mean I won't it Melissa trying to convey to people is that it don't come here and it's it is like. I don't call sometime his own life and you develop a life with the other people in recovery. And you can have a wonderful pro it's not just about all we have to do this this and minister's life. Think there's lifestyle and try and end. And we we have we have like we have lots of friends we do lots of other things it's not it might be with recovery people but word to weigh in covering basic agreement but not on the cover where we're going kayak and together Rick and I and our families are rebel kayak in together and we we know we're going out to dinner and word doing. We're doing other things outside we have a life it's it's very exciting and we had a great time doing it. And what's important Tutu also and I think you would both agree with is that it doesn't mean everything is rainbows and happy all the time but you know have a set of skills. To. Work with and work through point 'cause I fiscal challenge is still it's not a picnic every day. And this thing about the program. Is that. RAI blurted I've been in the long time and I've learned had. How to deal with addicts. But I've also taken that program and put it out in the real world. And dealt with those people out there and learn how to deal was my employees and a much better basis. Because anger is not the first thing that it just shows up anymore. There's a buffer that I built considerable premium opening my mouth I know wages a human being you're talking to let's rethink what you're about to say and come back. Later in discussing it. Everywhere you say anger and the wind fueled people. Theory we come right back with me got a lot of stuff complete circle come back to fear because. Prior to having a program. Everything was about fear and fear comes on his anger frustration and it hurt. Well when you couldn't when you can work on your fear with this program homicide and everything it's a little easier to deal with that except. You know acceptance is a big word and our world you know we have to accept life. We have to accept it even in recovery. Our family member might not always do everything we want them so that we can might not go exactly according to that script that we have in our minds but today we should accept that is not going to be that way. I think every day God's got a plan. He doesn't tell me the plan in advance and why ask him to Alter the plan he doesn't just jump over change and I think he's Jackson this but I do know that. As a result of this program and Gerri touched on it it did took me a long time I was over a year before surrendered. And crises so right injuring three years when I hadn't really surrendered to a program recovered. Maybe I could have changed things maybe things we're doing different but I don't care because that's how I got to where I met now by going through it just the way I did. So today I'm very happy and today I accept what goes on on my side. My daughter's side to my wife's side we accept each other and that is a result of this program and accepting a higher power. And check and ask your question please maybe. Maybe. Uninsured anyway. Surrender doesn't necessarily mean weakness. Surrender doesn't mean we guess more like. Just because I do except somebody who doesn't mean I like it and not look I'm I'm week when I surrender it means I've accepted. I accepted that I can't control every single aspect. I'll anyone's life I checked for a restaurant in my life. So no it's not weakness this program effect gave me strength and he gave me courage just is a dozen family member of the family members earn and develop. But courage strength based on letting go based on accepting. And I talk much about a lot through the years that. I don't have to like everything that happens I don't have to lecturing my daughter does she does apple like everything I do. Cherry doesn't have to like everything that mark does or doesn't do but we accept those things today. And the same thing was breaking his children and his wife. Acceptance. Acceptance and love I mean put the fear in a drawer few cans were just now just today. Don't wake up tomorrow start over again because there's a daily reprieve. We have to do this breaches at many times and we have to do this every day you don't do for one day in the life is better and we get cadillacs and caviar and and you know everybody's PG. Every life is gonna have challenges. And we now have the tools as an addict as a family member we have tools to deal with. Those challenges. So. Sherry tell me more what are your closing thought there were just about out of time. Well my closing I would I think I'd just say that we don't have to be alone anymore we don't have to do this alone there's a safe place to go there's a safe place to be. And there's help out there. For the addict and a family member but especially the family member I wouldn't focus on the ads focus on ourselves and get help for the family member of the central where you're got to thank. Correct though huh. Artest staying is to make that first step through the door. When you get tons of tour you're going to see open arms and open hearts. And we're all about. Acceptance and like I said unconditional love and non judgment. Break out how long did you struggle with your family before you came to our program. We can't deny you my mother and father and the way thanks Linda bird 56 years but no where's my child. I went to weigh in any meaning they after I found out. What happened. I do my wife had been going to program for my stepdaughter for a long time. And I was in so much pain and anger and fear that I needed to get add a bit in the only relief I found was. In the program. And you felt relief almost instantly just yet I found I found laughter where I never thought I could find laughter I've found a welcome news I found open arms it was. It was a little. Little salvation at a time for that hour. In those hours. The program says that you're supposed to do in 1980s and ninety days we didn't nineteen meetings and thirty days while. And that's because we were fortunate enough to be able to do it but. They came as a relief and then we found people like charity. And we found people like married and we found people like tritium we found all these people who wanted to help. Com we are there for you to help with open arms. Right and MS pac that was the whole point today show in my mind was spread this message of hope. And love and we're here to help. We wanna help everyone here to help and that is not today show thank you so much relief. Every treatment center.