Nancy Martin

Newsmaker Interviews
Monday, December 18th

Nancy Martin with WILK's Sue Henry


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Item on the things going on in the world. Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome Nancy Martin's home and it's area. Yeah do well and a bit about your story and how you got involved. It in this particular training rob Utley Judith as pat what did you feel that you thought I got to step up and do something. Sure I'll come by. A long history or other half of my life. Being in those situations myself. And being in those type type of abuse the situation and cut all ties he took over actually emotionally. Politically. And I've learned throughout my life now an after learning from coaching OPEC output from being a important that we get every. I'll learn how useful my body went it went my way of gaining like hot and and then what I did you notice when I use my body can make me more confidence back from BP. That's when I got last. On this program that I have said. And so one how to use their body in such a way out there. That wrote in a sense that way that they intend changing the when he looked in the world that you don't want to target an accent don't appear after the first. OK now we are just out about and you let's say you're at the mall right. You're just watching people. Can you rule out Hulu is more vulnerable. Just by watching them. Absolutely and Lauren and show our. That people that are abusive one way get for our reeks he'd at least abuse their her raft. Throughout their life but chances are you've been and it is the situation one. He will be go more than one and it will be repeated situation throughout your life. Cash and I can't help but wonder you know if it. It at the compromise on some level right that would not a bit complaining saying it's just a realization now have you allowed yourself. Well you can't sit back and watch and me. I'll what are those different things that we're dealing who book what I'm confident. And some of that looking for that you wouldn't want somebody that confident. And I agree with that because I think that when we do. Viewed that just. Body language experts all the time and I know you're not that but says. Body accused do we give off Nancy that we need to reconsiders. So that we look. As though. We are in charge. Yes that fell on I've been doing that backup boot camp. And in that part of that is learning the bodies so. That DI CK from the they that you can't keep that confident are you may update their big in the world. So hold your back at how they can pass it possibly can when you lock. The apple makes that vulnerable they can keep your arms long and it didn't pick a date with them keep them Democrat I keep them stretched out and longer. Show that you're in the world and so therefore you don't feel like they're all important to protect yourself. And that he expect to hear cast try again next spring and I'll look you're focused on an Alex making a puppet is at hand. To be a little sock. Template and then they'll like at a bus stop or somewhere with apartment block. And I have been able honorable position it can prevent us from looking quickly. Our board just being able to get out of a situation what he can he stopped when you're just standing there blocking. And on the top of back off the -- all sort of certain surroundings when you go into a new situation. Well and really look around and see who and what is around you that you know where you are what the plan it looked like. Should part out and are focused on where you're going sum up how you want to know what your surroundings are what you. Moving keep your focus forward and we should start I would like to make her look salute the backs. And second are being complete eye contact. Eye contact with people. Eat pudding if people don't let it they're walking past them on the streets public that corporate that by something that would stop and download. And what it doesn't that let them know that you recognize that you know who they are and you can learn the identity that you later. Okay and race something that I want to move on to because a lot of us have been taught in life. To be polite neat and you know if if we engaged people. Engage. And sometimes they're kinda sorry we did at. The line from trying to being nice to get away from this percent. The. I'll look at that concern me bring the end of the year authentic selves so you know where those boundaries bar. When they are and that's another thing that I work heavily on what my clients. It finding out where exactly are your boundaries and having the confidence. She used that when they come up instead of being that wishy washy. Home media should be a little Lakshmi the action popped them a little longer even though my intuition is telling me no get away. We were some times today because we're not strong enough Albert believed. And that building back at building your core beliefs and building your intuition to know when a crime to cut it off. It is a good way to do that so that you can get away. Little insulting you down so in curve further communication. That way to break it off with with somebody that you just eat. You know you just don't know where there ago laying there you don't know what they're up to what's good waiting to get away from them. I have no problem in the Portland. And you know that little bite my. You know what can come in handy for people that don't feel comfortable just saying I. You can pick up. I have no problem with using that is a step too into it make you feel more comfortable and oh look at times yeah where I'm expecting color what separated by no no issues with little white lie when it comes to situations we feel comfortable and need to get away. OK that's good and that sometimes I pretend that I have to take a phone call. Seems team I go to for a lot of things where I feel like I need to go now I just got you got to take this call and that's why. And burned by break come in handy that we don't say 000 I don't. Hope bringing it. Think it's two guys we have seen. In all phases the entertainment field journalism politics. Where weeks teen. People who now feel. Empowered that they can come forward and see a lot of times. We hear the people that is sometimes contact us see that because there's a huge time lag between the that time when something happened and somebody then talks about it could be. You know years and years and years decades when apple world somebody who works in this venue to try to explain to individuals. Why that happens to certain people were they just sort of take it Arlen and they don't. You do anything for a long time. I love me so dependent and I know that from personal experience. So what happens does that if you don't practice they let your apathy is so well. That you honestly. In the moment believe. This is a possibility that you believe that. Other people's opinions are you are better get your own big job no more. You just follow what they do blindly in the month. Even if you your gut is telling you that that's long and you know it well on some level. Something about you is I'm able to stop it. And so what happened there are an often times you'll notice. That they think are happening to younger people in the beginning of their. Yeah that's where great to talk about your exactly right. Cabrera who are in a moment in our league rattled we learned what we are we get stronger we become more confidence. And then we realize we have. Oh my god that was so so Ronald and not only look at the bottle but it struck it the way that I lived my life but that moment on. My whole life has changed because so back situation. So and so when you. I didn't think when you make that realization you feel like. Not only do need to get something about that. And I'm just need to stop that from happening to the next generation. Eat eat it this is another very valid point and I think the you're on to something here where a lot of powerful individuals do. They prey on the young because they because they can because they did other people that they might try to approach and institutional knowledge and they'll be able to say. Back off creep. People how should we. Instructing them either male or female which beat telling people about it. Tom doesn't positions because tactic it's about. Being respectful. Draper in to help people at Sadr what you would be saying to them. She left and I. Certainly believe and I believe that there is of the people in the power all settled. I fully fully believe that it got boiled down to our ability. To lead at least in Q how aware. Opt and confidence not ego or not this no charges view but our confidence. And that authenticity. And applicant that the ability. And we authentically but I don't wholeheartedly believe it. Many cases is not an almost all of them where the perpetrators themselves. Are also in a blaze of low self confidence and that is what they either feel that there. They do it because the idea Calvin is but the strong but they don't feel wait until that they overcompensate. Or what about it that they need that boot up straight because they don't know what the way they feel that the post jail. I thought yeah there are more confident in their what are they wouldn't be perpetrating the things that they are now. OK so how do we talked to like younger people because sometimes he said he younger people all your full of yourself you don't know yet what ever. Strike that balance of hey listen here's we need to look out for and if somebody is trying to leverage on you here's what you need to do. The guy and I'll certainly I think because that's right they're the big difference between. The ego and she can re old conflict. Right and I think for some of we've gotten so far away from what we're telling our heads that we you know we welcome someone like you say that back. But we got away from listening to what bodies and it with two important flock there in the and one of the loop because we have that when we're younger. And we locked set the ability to listen to what butterflies like a different impossibly cute. Are we bleed happily what what the technical body is telling not. And then listened to and react to when you feel about butterflies that your intuition telling you. But there's not going and then don't ask you don't have it right away if you need him to play. Whatever it is that you need to do but with computers now more than. They'd verbal messages that we get because at some point they are misconstrued like you that we tell people to respect their elders. But that doesn't mean no matter what no matter what if you got telling you differently look at how until the Clinton actually. And where should it okay if something is is not right and they have intuition and I really believe in intuition very strongly think that even. Officers have told me in the past. And it if you feel that it's true it's it's more likely to be true not true. Who is the person. That we should take that knowledge to so that we can talk to them because as you know in the past and there have been in generations. Of where somebody has been a bad apple and or allowed to be bad because. Nobody believes with Sally had to say there whatnot does so we should take that. If they want to be heard and what should we advisory and people. Pan am attribute that to heart situation that have been in certain situations that even their own gambling that they feel they can go out and play. So clearly finding that truck with her sentence. And you know we hope. That the you know the Biden camp alert and the people. That are put in position like that their school are the people that they really can't go to and just keep telling tournament jockey Talking Heads back let them work its. You go to you know. You're the you're pre start your spiritual leader that I. I couldn't you just have to keep looking and the hardest part for a child because they keep hearing now now now or if you lord oh don't worry about it. It it just so hard. Well I think we as parents need to make sure that we not already. Keep communication open with our children but we also injured do we introduce people to them that they can do. When they don't feel like they can talk to. And hopefully that guidance counselor someone in their school. Okay and I've recently because it's it's the thing that people do anymore. It took some Internet training recently for one of the jobs that I have. The reason it it contained a lot of very very very good information about something called title nine. Which is that me and Tory. Recording. To school officials. If something happens and then official. Is. To aid to record. The information but there are certain parameters with the entitlement where they can say and and a protector confidentiality as much as I can. Okay right. Get out and so just how. I know with how hard because. It looked like that are put in place that help break but then sometimes that makes it scary for the kids to be able to report. Well again if that's emphasize to kids that here are the individuals and this is mandated by federal law under title at. And I think it helps them to understand yet you know there has to people's wants to now. How to stop repeat work place abuse. That is not sexual from higher ups where there is no protection so this isn't. Sexual in nature but it's just to work the job. Harassment. Shutout and ended up look around like a nickname that but it is it. It looked like a loan company doesn't HR department at my right the deputy at that now you know because obviously that upper right now but that would make sense that they're not so that they can do that way it's. On I went. The ball well it from a legal point to be able I would start documenting on paper every time everything happen it. And every time that everything happens stand up for yourself and document back as well that the reaction from it. It's happening and and and somebody is is acting inappropriately. Verbally abuse of the best way to kind of staved off I don't like the way that you talk to Mir will. Do. And so I meet hotly in keeping the focus on how would that we're all the markets right at working on your style not saying directly about the bad as saying. Let empower ourselves and politely but when the beach all that and you about now. And you play. This adult language and an appropriate to me and I would appreciate it would change obviously people are pretty different word than the best candidate. It out our interview and that may not add you know whenever you feel comfortable saying let's pop about it while could be very very clear. And then let them now they're integrating. And I would appreciate the and I need you to stop an artifact has a professional relationship. Should bring up professionalism. And how is that affecting you and then therefore how that is attacking your job. I think it's fair that the bottom line because when they hear it's affecting my job than they might start to pay attention in and be more are aware that yeah this is my employee and it's affecting their job but I guess some people Nancy they feel like. They just don't have anywhere to go some of the stuff and it's so frustrating. Frustrating and and unfortunately sometimes we get in the situation where that. That's where we are right if it is the small enough company where they don't have an HR department we report sue if say you know the person you would normally report is the person doing something about it or they are hype it up in the company. But typically three people Becker. Back like a typical and quite frankly that when. That's when it does the job search start. Because somewhere else while you're trying to temper the situation here in my opinion. You know you're so right on that too is that that's when maybe that you're cued again out of there and I think that there's nothing wrong with that either. C Morton is an abuse. Prevention. Expert her website is Nancy Marten coaching dot com you can find on the east. Nancy Marten coach saying and I guess if they don't want to check that cheer back off boot camp he can then direct them to the proper channels for that right. How about and to get comfort from four to nanny cook very often are you in the area. That report. It's like it's a wonderful life isn't in the path. To tag team and we really appreciate your help. Yeah well I really yeah.